Improved Communication: An Essential Component In Any Relationship
Research indicates that for every one negative behavior you express to your partner, you must also demonstrate five positive behaviors. This is known as the 5:1 ratio, and it is scientifically proven to improve the success rate of a marriage. Positive behaviors include showing physical affection, validating the other person’s feelings, showing appreciation, complimenting your mate and remaining supportive in tough situations. Negative behaviors, such as raising your voice in a complaint or becoming critical of a choice your partner has made, also have a place, but they must be minimized to make a relationship work. In order to implement the 5:1 ratio, you must first learn to utilize effective communication skills. That is, you must focus both on your own thoughts and what the other person has to say, while also paying close attention to where thoughts and words are coming from.
Improving Communication with Couples Counseling
Some effective communication skills include using “I” instead of “you” to place the emphasis on how your partner’s actions make you feel, allowing your partner to understand where you are coming from and why something needs to be addressed. In addition, actively listening when your partner speaks, rather than interrupting his train of thought or partaking in other activities, is essential to resolving arguments and finding common ground in your marriage. Also avoid stonewalling your partner or failing to give verbal or non-verbal cues as to how you are feeling or what your reaction to a particular conversation might be. Finally, when negativity comes about in conversation, both parties should attempt to utilize constructive criticism skills, giving purpose to negative words and providing teachable moments for each other.
Implementing many of the tips mentioned above is difficult for couples, and that is where counseling comes in. Through couples counseling, I can assist you in identifying communication barriers and understanding where breakdowns are occurring in your relationship. Additionally, I will act as your guide, providing you with opportunities to slow down communication, and slow down your train of thought. This allows both parties to focus in on feelings and understand the unique needs that the other partner has. Couples counseling can be viewed as a collaborative effort where internal emotions are safely released, and both individuals in the relationship have an opportunity to speak, listen and learn more about the other person. I will also act as an unbiased third party, assisting with open ended questions when necessary. You will walk away with enhanced communication skills that will improve your relationship now and in the future.
Andrew Christensen, a UCLA professor of psychology, once stated that it only takes one person to end a relationship, but it takes two people to make a relationship work. If you are committed to making your relationship work, couples counseling can provide the keys you are searching for. Through open communication, enhanced dialogue, a true expression of feelings and behavior modification, I can help you to find balance in your relationship and realize the love you have for each other.
If you would like to improve communication between you and a spouse, loved one, or family member, contact me today and begin the recovery process!
